OK I have to start with this. Jamie and I had a lengthy discussion yesterday after class and before the BBQ about how I’m a wuss. It was a discussion about my personal life and how I should fight for what I want, not what other people want of me. Make any sense? THEN I had a dream last night that the ball and chain I want to shake proposed with a hideous ring and then I caught him cheating on me. Vision of the future? Ugh, gross. (no offense)
Next thought – I didn’t speak up to talk about my favorite teacher today during class, but its because it probably would have made me emotional. Her name was Mrs. Mc’D'Roe and she was my 5th grade teacher. She scared the crap out of me the first day because she gave the class a day long lecture about how she was so strict and the toughest disciplinarian. We were all “shaking in our boots” basically. Then she turned out to be so dedicated to her students. I received straight A’s all year and participated in TAG (or G&T) AND we were also secret pen pals. We also connected on this strange personal note because her father and my mother were very sick during that year and I remember one occasion where we were both crying in the middle of class. Weird? Perhaps, but I knew she cared and was an actual person outside of class. Over the years we lost touch, although I was a peer tutor for her in high school. Now she has remarried and changed her name to Mrs. Takeshida. 
Next thought: Today during class we talked about being excited to teach in the fall. I, too, am very excited to teach in the fall, but for some reason I freaked myself out. Will the kids respect me? Will they listen to me? Will they do what I say? Will they learn anything from me? Will they walk all over me? This is contradictory to my usual outlook on teaching, but until I get into the classroom and realize that everything will be ok, I WILL have these random anxiety attacks.
So, this weekend I need to go grocery shopping. Yay, spend more money. And rent is due next week. Oh and utilities. I’m taking my grandmother shopping for new clothes tomorrow. My sister is getting married next month so we’ll probably buy outfits for that. THEN I’m going to write, write, study, write, study, study, study, and write for the rest of the weekend. Blake said something yesterday about penciling in fun time rather than penciling in homework time. It is going to consume me for the next week. BUT GOOD NEWS!! My bosses are taking vacation time for the next two weeks so I don’t have to work!!! SO I will be broke, but on vacation. And it is the 4th of July and the 4th of July Rodeo is next weekend. So hot cowboys, here I come!
for the record Miss Phillips, I certainly do not think you are a wuss. I think you are fantastic and deserve everything that makes you happy. . . .and I think that you should advocate for yourself, girl! As far as your concerns go about starting to teach in the fall and whether or not your students respect you, i think that you’re going to be great and don’t forget – we are all going to mess up at some point (maybe several points) but that is why we are “student teachers”. good luck with all your work this weekend!